


Arrow

by pickwicklingpapers



Series: Arrow [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Hawkeye (Comics), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Clintasha - Freeform, F/M, I swear to God, M/M, Many of them, Natasha Romanov's Arrow Necklace, Phil Coulson Has the Patience of a Saint, Post-Avengers (2012), Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Stucky - Freeform, Tony Being Tony, Tony Stark Has A Betting Pool, Tony Stark Has Issues, and also, these two
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-01
Updated: 2017-07-29
Packaged: 2018-03-04 15:41:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3073304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pickwicklingpapers/pseuds/pickwicklingpapers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Natasha's arrow necklace holds a lot of secrets. The Avengers don't know them all.</p><p>Three times someone assumed that Natasha Romanov was single, and one time that they learned differently.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Steve

**Author's Note:**

> Or: How certain Avengers learned that certain necklaces hold more literal truth than metaphor.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ____________________________
> 
> After months of Tasha trying to set him up on dates, Steve asks her why she, with all her knowledge, doesn't date some of them herself. She smiles and leaves him wondering.
> 
> ____________________________

 

"What about Maggie in Human Rights?"

"Big hair, glasses?"

"Yeah. She'd accept if you asked her."

"That's why I don't ask."

\---

"Jessica."

"What?"

"Jessica Bates. Level Four. She's pretty."

"No."

\---

"Okay, this one's perfect."

Steve looks down at the Popeye arms, the uncombed hair, the unibrow, and the word 'no' spills out of his mouth before he's even aware that he's said it.

\---

Steve looked up as the thick folder was slammed down onto his desk. It was bulky, pages spilling from the sides, paperclips sticking out of the top. It looked like trouble and, judging by Tasha's shit-eating grin, it probably was.

Natasha perched next to it, smirk on her face. "This is every SHIELD agent in the United States. Or at least, all the single ones." She patted it delicately. "Take your pick, big guy, because any of them would happily date you. But I'd move fast, 'cos I'm pretty sure Rachel West is about to hook up with John Mitchell. They have desks next to each other in the law department. They might not see it coming, but I can." She popped her gum bubble, smirking at him. "Point is, they'll soon be out."

"How the hell do you know all these people? How do you know the minute details of everybody's lives?" Steve asked, staring at her in amazement. "And why are you so invested in setting me up?"

She ignores him and picks up the file. "You need a life, Rogers dear. And I'm on a mission to get you one." She flicked the folder open, pushing it towards him. "Here. Julie Michaels. Level Two. She's cute." She turned a few more pages, "Ooh! How about this guy! Frank Johnson. Level Six. He's pretty hot. And you don't have to go for the whole marriage palava. You could just have a one night stand or something." She flicked through a few more papers, muttering idly to herself.

Steve sighed, rubbing at his temples, hoping that the coming headache would magically disappear. "Tasha, why are you so obsessed with this? Maybe I don't want a relationship at the moment. I think adjusting to seventy missed years is enough." He looked up at her, taking the cup of coffee she offered him. "And what about you, huh? I don't see you dating anyone. Maybe you should take a look in this book if having a love life is that important to you."

"Maybe." She stood, fiddling with her necklace as she turned away. "See you later, Rogers. Stark wants team meal tonight."


	2. Tony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ____________________________
> 
> Tony keeps trying to set up Tasha and Steve. He doesn't seem to realise that they're both in relationships.
> 
> ____________________________

 

"Hey, Capsicle!"

"Stark." Steve sighed, turning to face him.

"Capsicle, I've been thinking. About your relationship status. You and Freezer Burn, right-"

Steve gulped. "Yeah?"

"You've been out of the game too long. You need to get back in. So I've booked a private rooms at this club I know - well, I own - and I could totally get a couple of nice girls to come over and-"

"Stark, no. Just no."

"Aw, come on Stevie Wonder, you know you wanna." Tony stilled, a slow smirk spreading across his face. "Or is there someone else, huh? Someone on the team maybe?"

Steve flushed. "Leave it, Stark. I've got to go, okay? I have to meet with Tasha." He turned to stride away, Tony scurrying to catch up.

"See? This is what I mean. _Tasha_. No one else gets to call her that. Well, apart from Clint but that's never gonna happen." He stopped in front of the Captain, arms outstretched. "It's her, isn't it? You're shagging, right? C'mon Steve, you can tell me. You're dating, yeah?"

"For fuck's sake, Stark. Leave the poor man alone." Natasha's voice wandered round the corner, closely followed by the woman herself. Tony blanched, face draining of all blood.

"Shit!" he whispered, scrambling to hide behind the Cap. He peered out from behind Rogers' broad torso, shaking in fear. No one insults Natasha Romanov and lives. He'd learned that when she was Natalie.

Natasha appeared, grinning like a shark having spotted prey. She was dressed casually, no make up, no jewellery other than the ever present necklace, but Steve had no doubt that she was hiding at least ten weapons somewhere on her body.

"Hey boys," she drawled, leaning casually on the wall. "What y'all doing on this fine day?"

Tony stuttered something unintelligible before practically sprinting for the lift, muttering frantically for Jarvis to get the doors open and to _get the doors open now._

Steve turned back to Natasha, who was still watching Stark flounder amusingly. "Thanks." he muttered, drawing her attention back to him. "It's fine, really, it's just that, well, he takes me by surprise sometimes and I can't..."

She smiled, looking him full in the face. "It's all good Steve," she said, reaching up to lay a hand on his shoulder. "Say hi to Yasha for me."

Steve floundered, gobsmacked, watching as she turned and sauntered away.

 "Wait," he called after her. She turned, looking at him expectantly. "I just - how did you know - I mean -" he trailed off awkwardly. "Maybe you should take his advice," he said, taking in a deep breath. "Obviously not with me 'cos Buck and I are, well, you know, but maybe you should get out there. Date a bit. Find love."

She just smiles enigmatically and saunters away.

\---

She meets Stark the next day.

He covers up his nerves with a cocky attitude and a toothy grin. As she's leaving the lab after a quick conversation with Banner about some biochem that Barton wants to use on his new arrows, he stops her.

"So, _Tasha_ , had any thoughts about that conversation last night?"

She sees Banner suck in a breath and start to slowly edge away as she unleashes her trademark Black Widow grin.

Stark ignores all danger signs and presses on regardless. "You know, you. Steve. The Horizontal Tango. _It_. You never know, you might find yourself a bit of true love along the way." He smiled nastily. "Or is love still for children?"

She smiled and continued walking away, necklace glinting in the artificial light. "I've got no need to go out and find love, Stark, I've got plenty of it right here. Everyone should be a child sometimes."

She pauses at the door, hand on hip. "Oh, and Stark?"

"Yeah?"

"Call me Tasha again and I'll cut your fucking balls off."


	3. Sam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ____________________________
> 
> Sam keeps flirting with Tasha. It's sweet, until he starts flirting with Clint too. After laughing for a few weeks, they take pity on him, take him to one side, and explain the situation.
> 
> ____________________________

It's kind of cute when he starts. She thinks it begins with the 'hey, how you doin' he gives her when they first meet. And yeah, she returns in kind, because what's a little flirting between friends? Not that they are friends, but they will be. She just knows it.

It kind of escalates from there. Okay, so she eggs him on slightly, but it's not serious. He knows it, she knows it, and it's all between friends.

He starts it up with Clint too, and sometimes they compare chat up lines they've been given late at night, giggling under the covers after one too many glasses of wine.

It's only when the tone of the flirting subtly changes (they're not spies for nothing) that they decide to take pity on him and tell him something they've only ever told their boss and their best man, one of whom was dead and is now not, and the other one who is currently pretending to be.

They wait for him to come into the living room one day, and make sure that they're kissing when he does. He looks up from his ice cream, pauses, goes red, and clears his throat.

"So, um, you two are together then?" Without waiting for an answer he turned to Natasha and said "You know I didn't mean the flirting, right? I swear, I'm not trying to make a move on your man."

"Hey, don't I get an apology too?" Clint cut in as Sam looked apologetically at Natasha. "After all, you did flirt with my wife."

"She flirted back!"Sam protested. "Wait," he studied their faces intently, looking for any clue that they were messing with him. "Wife?"

"We're not just together, Sam." Tasha said, extracting the ice cream from his hands and motioning for him to sit down beside them. "We're married. New York made us realise a few things. We were already dating, we just...took it a step further. I nearly lost him, he nearly caused Banner to kill me... If it weren't for Coulson, I would probably never have been told that he'd been compromised. Why would I? It's not like I was his next of kin, or that we'd officially told SHIELD we were dating. We saved New York, sent Loki home, and he proposed a couple of weeks later when we were staying at his place." She shrugged. "It was cute. He stuttered so much."

"Hey!" Barton protested, "You try proposing to a woman who you're not only head over heels for but can also kill you with her finger. It's nerve wracking to say the least."

"But you're not married. You can't be." Sam said, bright red from trying to wrap his head around the concept. Which, itself, wasn't much of a surprise now he thought about it.

Tasha leaned into Clint, resting her back on his chest. "Sure we are. Coulson was best man. Hill was bridesmaid, but only after she found out and threatened to kill us for not inviting her." She laughed. "Fun times. Just like Budapest."

"You're not married. I read your files. I know you're not."

"Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew the Earth was the center of the universe. Five hundred years ago, everybody knew the Earth was flat, and fifteen minutes ago, you knew that we were single." Clint patted the shell-shocked flier on the knee. "Think of what you'll know tomorrow."

"Jesus. Even Stark didn't see this coming. He's got pools going on Natasha and Hill, Clint and Darcy, Clint and Coulson, Natasha and Steve. Everyone. But not this. How could he not...? It's so obvious when you think about it." He paused as he thought it through. "Wait, the files - if Stark doesn't know then it can't be in your files. He's read them all by now. How did you keep it out of the files?"

Romanov shrugged. "Fury knows." she said simply. "And we all agreed that it didn't need to go any further."

"Which was kind of a blessing during that whole SHIELD-is-HYDRA thing. One of us would definitely've been used as coercion and left dead in a ditch somewhere if Pierce or Sitwell had known." Clint chimed in.

"And rings? Where're your rings? If you got married, you have to have rings." Sam said, still not quite believing that this wasn't some sort of practical joke. "Rings are important."

"We've got them, we just don't wear them." Clint shrugged. "I find mine weighs me wrong, pulls the string a bit - it's probably just all in the mind, but still."

"And me? Hell no." Natasha said, shaking her head. "It's not worth it. My job is way too messy. Have you tried getting blood off gold?" She grinned to herself before unclasping her necklace and handing it to Sam. "I have this instead. My own little arrow from my very own archer."

Clint took off one of his ever-present fingerless gloves to show Sam a tiny spider inked on the inside of his ring finger. "I find that it's much harder to lose a tattoo than a ring."

"Okay." Sam said, returning the necklace and reclaiming his bowl, pulling a face at how much Natasha had managed to eat whilst talking. "Okay, I can deal with this - I just have one question. Why haven't you told the team about this?"

"A) It's none of their business, B) we like having secrets to ourselves, and C)..."

"And C?" asked Sam, feeling apprehensive.

Clint shrugged. "We like fucking with Tony's head."


	4. Kate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lil' bonus chapter

Katie-Kate is the only one who never tries to set Clint or Natasha up.

 

Clint thinks it's because she knows, deep down, that they're happy just how they are, in whatever configuration that may be.

Natasha thinks (correctly) that it's because she genuinely doesn't give a shit. 

What neither of them realises, is that New York upper class politics give better training than the SHIELD academy ever could, and so whilst she doesn't care - she doesn't America, shut _up_ \- she can tell everything about who's sleeping with who whilst dating somebody else and pretending not to love someone else entirely with one glance. The two of them are no match for her, and really they shouldn't have been so surprised when she offered her babysitting services. After all, she was the one to figure out that Letitia Hornby-Williams was sleeping with Frederick Jakobson-Holt. Clint and Natasha are nowhere near that level of secrecy.

 

Clint has her teach him all she knows. 

**Author's Note:**

> Well, that's what you get for watching Winter Soldier and discussing Steve and Bucky, and Natasha and Clint, and then thinking about it until way too late.  
> If you enjoyed it or have any constructive criticism, please let me know - especially grammar and spelling. It's quarter to two in the morning, and I'm not on top form. Also, I have an over fondness of commas. Just let me know and I'll change it as soon as possible.  
> Happy New Year!


End file.
